Thank You, San Francisco

This is a momentous post, friends and K-bors. Yesterday I dropped the hanging folder labeled "San Francisco" into the "Past" drawer of the file cabinet that is my life. With sights set on the Middle West, the Fisher King and I let 'er loose for SoCal. I sit now in the spot where it all began: Mudd-Blaisdell Dormitory, Pomona College, Claremont, California. It's possible the funny-looking freshman boy whose pictures are everywhere will be a little upset when he comes home and finds me posting from his computer, but it's nice to return to my roots.

There are so many San Francisco people I leave behind that I'd like to thank. On the short list: Mr. Aaron Goldsmith, for being the best roommate that the occasional sexual favor can buy; Katie Morton, also a great roomie (tolerant of me) and considerably less easy than the aforementioned; Nancy Bombard, best aunt ever; Julian Bombard, my coolest cousin (and he's going on 11, ladies); Biffy, the friendliest Russian I know; A. Cassel, we wasted too much time, but it was still great (I'm wearing a New Trier East t-shirt right now); Team P.A. - 'Bone I'll see you soon, J not long after that; Anna Lindberg, the greatest Bones player of all time to never actually win a game (stay warm, friend); Tebbets, you missed most of the show, but I suppose rebuilding the Third World is a worthy cause; Mike, undoubtedly my best friend under 5'7"; Remi, the Frenchest of my San Friends, with whom I frequented the hip-hop show circuit; Volberding, I'm holding you personally responsible for my general lethargy, 'cause I didn't really exercised after you left (and I continue to argue that you should hop on up to Chicago from Indy); Lily, I didn't talk in a really high voice after you left, and I miss it :) LD Ward, you may say you hated it but we had some good times. If I forgot you.... well, the truth is I probably didn't forget you it's just that I don't like you that much.

Now, back to the issue at hand. My trusted companion and I retrace the steps of Raoul Duke and his unfortunately Samoan lawyer beginning tonight at sundown. From the bright lights of the City of Sin, we will cut through the overpoliced passes of Utah - a state that really ought to be given back to the Native Americans; put the damn Mormons on reservations. When we emerge from the dark night in that darkest of states, tattered and torn, we push on through to Denver before finally taking our next rest stop.

It's a hard life, that of the road traveller, but the King and I carry our burden with grace. We're veterans of the game - like Snoop and Dre, if you will. We enjoy the Festivities. We ride the Wave. We feel the Vibes. We are. Driving.

Better not live in a glass house...

If you're looking for Super Bowl commentary, you've come to the wrong place, friends. The K-borhood is off football for the week. Frankly, the NFL's extra week of pre-SB media hype strikes me as presumptuous and obnoxious. Today we're talking beats and rhymes - I'm throwin' Stones.

Stones Throw Records, people. If you're a hip-hop fan, you need to get down with these dudes. Madlib. Jay Dee aka J Dilla. MF Doom The Villain. Peanut Butter Wolf. Wildchild. MED. These are names you need to know. Those of you who know the "underground" hip-hop scene recognize the first few names at least, but I'm telling you the whole roster is flamin'.

The best part: ridiculous collaborations. Jaylib - 'Dilla and Madlib; Madvillain - Madlib and MF Doom; Lootpack - Madlib, Wildchild, DJ Romes; the list goes on. I'd say if you're looking for some real hotness to start off with, Jaylib's Champion Sound and Madvillain's Madvillainy are where it's at. The beats on these albums are off the hook.

'Dilla and Madlib in particular are production wizards. They have that rare ability to maximize their sound while minimizing the components. These are simple beats. They are no-frills. There's not a bunch of beeping and crap that sounds like cell phone rings. Yes, Lil' John, I'm talking to you. You've got some quality samples - mostly from old jazz records - some sweet breaks and a hard-hitting rhythm. The rhymes are at best original and clever, and at worst a solid complement to the artistry of the backbeat.

My iPod is bumping strictly Stones Throw right now, K-bors. These dudes are blowing my socks off. I just wanted you to know that.

Championship Sunday

You know what it is...

Game 1 - Steelers at Broncos: I suppose picking a winner gets tougher each round, because this one is a doozy. On one hand you've got Jake Plummer - he can definitely make plays to win it for you, but can he keep it under control and make sure he doesn't blow it? Then Big Ben Roethlisberger - no question he can manage a game for you, but can he make the big play to win it? Both teams run the ball very well, no matter which of their backs is in. Both teams have very solid defenses with dangerous, hard-hitting safeties. I'm a Jake guy, but Ben has been very impressive. If he can have a first half like he did last week, the Steelers may just win. If you can't tell, I still haven't made my pick..... thinking..... thinking.... 24-23 Steelers. Definitely take Pitt and the Points.

Game 2 - Panthers at Seahawks: Nobody has shown me anything to convince me that Steve Smith can be stopped. Unless the Seahawks manage to sack Jake Delhomme five or six times in the first half, the Panthers should take this one. And frankly, I don't really want to extoll the virtues of the team that just embarassed my Bears' defense. Mark it 34-20 Panthers.

Just make the pain go away...

As I sat, draped in my 2005 World Series Champion White Sox throw, watching the final seconds tick of the Soldier Field clock, I was filled with a tremendous sense of disappointment and loss. Not only had I mailed in the most miserable day of NFL predictions ever (after instructing you to bet my picks), but my beloved Bears had fallen to the "unstoppable" Carolina Panthers. For my part, they're hardly unstoppable and the Bears' D played possibly its worst game of the year. As far as I can tell, matching our best corner against their best receiver might have been enough to do it. But to the victors go the spoils and the losers go home. In any event, I went to bed a sad, sad Kolsky.

This morning, though, things are gonna be different. Sure, I plan to sit around the house for a third day in a row. There is plenty of basketball to entertain. But I thought if I could find out where it's playing, I might go check out this awesome-looking new film:


I wish I could follow that up with a joke that would do it justice, but I think it's best that you all take some time and fully absorb it. Just a little something to brighten the day of all those Washington, New England, Indianapolis and Chicago football fans.

Dynasty Over

Thank god. I was so sick of the stupid Patriots and their stupid undefeated-in-the-playoffs mojo. Stupid. I believe I'm now 5-1, which is pretty good even if I didn't nail all the scores. So maybe you should bet these picks:

Game 1 - Pittsburgh at Indianapolis: It's all about Big Ben. If he can hurt the Colts early and Pittsburgh can get a lead, they are the best clock wasters in the NFL. Bettis is remarkably effective when you know he's coming. Sadly, Indy plays pretty tough D these days, and it's damn near impossible to get much of an early lead against that offense. I think this is gonna be a spectacular game, and I'd like to pick Pittsburgh, but I'm just not sure they're good enough to beat an Indy team that should be ready. I see 13-0 Indy showing up for this one: 31-21 Colts.

Game 2 - Carolina at Chicago: The Main Event. Say what you will about Carolina being on a roll, they were on a roll when we held them to three points and scored 13. And I would remind my audience that Kyle Orton quarterbacked that victory. Rex Grossman may not have experience, but I think it's clear he improves the offense over Orton. Basically, I believe that Carolina is a good team, but I do not believe that they are nearly as good as the Bears. The only way Chicago loses is if they come out completely flat or beat themselves with turnovers. Our defense is nothing like the NY panzies that the Panthers trampled last week. Jake Delhomme better fill all his ice trays before the game, because he's gonna be sore all over. Call it 23-10 Bears.

OK, K-borhood. Enjoy a great day of playoff football.

P.S. If you haven't heard Big Hit Buda's We Da Bears, you need to get down with that shit immediately.

Seattle Saturday

Sure, I said I'd try to keep the sports stuff at a reasonable level, but this is the playoffs, people. I'll do my best to keep commentary to a minimum. Saturday's games:

Redskins at Seahawks: Yes, the Redskins beat Seattle (in overtime) in Week 4. That means nothing. It would mean very little even if these were the same two teams, given the missed Seattle field goal which would have won the game in regulation. The Seahawks have the best offense in the NFC - obviously the best RB and arguably the best QB in the conference. Their defense is very strong. Washington has a great defense, which should slow Seattle a bit, but their offense simply stinks. With Clinton Portis hampered by a sore shoulder and Mark Brunell's mobility nullified by a knee, their best option is throwing screens and quick slants to the dangerous Santana Moss. This should get them a few yards and maybe a score, but they don't have enough to compete with the NFC's top team. Mark it 24-10 Seahawks.

Patriots at Broncos: After last week, I'd have to be either stupid or spectacularly stubborn to pick against the Patriots again. I am well aware of the mystique surrounding the Belichik-Brady combination. I am certainly familiar with the playoff history of this New England squad. And, admittedly, I'm still hurt by the way the franchise abused my boy Drew Bledsoe. All signs point to picking the Pats... so I'm putting everything on the Broncos. Jake Plummer has been my favorite QB in the league for a long time, and this year he finally earned my confidence in him. Great year, great team. He's shown the ability to make big plays without the tendency to make stupid ones. At the end of the day, the Broncos are simply a better team than the Patriots, and should win. I know you probably could say that about a decent percentage of New England playoff games the last few years, but I really think (read: hope and pray) that Jake puts Denver over the top. Gimme 26-24 Broncos.

Predictions of a Bears victory and an epic Indy-Pitt battle are forthcoming.

I Need More Cowbell!

It's been brought to my attention recently that there are murmurs of unrest in my readership, due in large part to my own failings as a blogger. Specifically, as you can see above, I promised to make this blog about - and I quote - "Music, Sports and Life." I have neglected to even broach the first of my purported subjects (barring the occasional lyrical reference) and seem to have included very little about Life, either. Since I have a separate blog devoted entirely to the NBA, I really have no excuse for spending so much of my time and space here on sports.

The onus of this topical (see definition 2a) failure is not solely upon my shoulders, K-bors. Yet it is in my power to make the necessary changes. As such, this will be the first in a forthcoming "What's in Kolsky's iPod" series of posts. I will heretofore attempt to continue said series on an approximately biweekly basis. Without further ado, I present...

What's in Kolsky's iPod??
Last week I added (legally, I assure you) two albums to my iPod. The first: The Strokes' First Impressions of Earth. On my first listen, I must admit I was pleased as punch. I had been disappointed with the Strokes' second effort, feeling that it was essentially just a repeat of the first album: zero musical growth, very little experimentation; just generally no progress. It was this, I believe, that led me to overzealously embrace First Impressions as something great - it is not. And yet, the components that caused my initial (if brief) love affair with the disc are indeed there: this album, though still undeniably a product of the band that made Is This It and Room on Fire, is a bit of a musical departure from the familiar ground of the Strokes' freshman and sophomore efforts. I'd say First Impressions is probably a three-out-of-five star album (maybe 3.5) but it is worth a listen just to hear where the Strokes are taking (or attempting to take) their sound.

For those of you that prefer hip-hop, check out the second album: Little Brother's The Minstrel Show. Though it may be giving them too much credit, I'll call Little Brother the De La Soul of the new millennium. These guys are having a lot of fun, and it shows. Producer 9th Wonder gets flack for sounding raw and "homemade", but I dig the sound. The beats definitely have a Native Tongues feel, and the lyrics - while largely just battle raps and cute tricks of phrase - don't fail to entertain. The one thing that puts them a cut below De La is that they take themselves a bit too seriously - it's awesome to make albums that have great beats and clever rhymes, and by all means you should enjoy yourself, but when you purport to be manufacturing biting social satire it poops on the party just a bit. Though the skits and interludes take shots at UPN (inventing UBN - U Black Niggas network) and pop artists like R Kelly (meet Percy Miracles, the album's R&B "guest") none of the songs really commit to the "Minstrel Show" concept, or even deal with serious issues at all. Nevertheless, it's a very enjoyable listen. Mark it four-out-of-five stars.

That's all for now... Stay cool, K-borhood...

If I were a hammer...

Sadly, I'm just a starving writer, and I rarely do any handiwork in the mornings. Instead, I wake up fifteen minutes Before Football to tell you what I think about the games. Yesterday I was one for two, though I think we all knew I picked a loser in Jacksonville. Admittedly it was worse than I would have ever imagined. Today we have two more games...

Game 1: Panthers at Giants - This one's about Eli. With the linebacking corps for New York completely in shambles, Carolina will score. They will. Now, the Giants are perfectly capable of competing with them if Eli has a good game. They can count on the venerable Tiki Barber, who seems to run for near or over 100 yards whenever the hell he wants to, and is one of toughest little fuckers in the league. The question is this: does Eli step up or does he break down. Specifically, if he can avoid turnovers and play smart, I think the G-Men would be able to take it. Unfortunately, Eli is still not quite there. Gimme the Panthers, 27-17.

Game 2: Steelers at Bengals - When Cincinnati was at its hottest this year, they took a tough game from a struggling Pittsburgh team (38-31 in Pitt). At this point, the Steelers are much better than they were in that Dec. 4 matchup; the Bengals - struggling. Plus, Pittsburgh keys their attack from a powerful running game that should tear up a weak rushing defense that allowed 115 yards a game this year. The Bengals D is made to force turnovers - they are aggressive, and their corners play for interceptions. Unfortunately for them, Roethlisberger does a very good job of limiting mistakes and probably won't hand them anything. In the end, I'd like to see Cincinnati pull it off, just for a change of pace, but it's just not much of a matchup. If they're going to compete they've got to be perfect in the passing game. I'll give them credit for a great year, but this is a game they'll be hard pressed to win. Show me Pittsburgh 27-24.

There you go, your playoff predictions. FYI, if this all goes as planned I'll be picking the Bears to re-hammer the Panthers in a week.

Are you ready for some FOOTBAAAAALLLL?!

I am. I'm ready for this stupid weekend to be over so the Bears can put their award-winning coach and middle linebacker on display for the whole nation to see. But first, let me tell you how this weekend's games are gonna go down...

Game 1: Redskins at Buccaneers - If Tampa wants to win, they'll have to get to Brunell early and often. The Washington O-line is too big for Tampa's D, which is based largely on speed and quickness, and attacking the ball. If they don't disrupt the pass game early, they'll end up on their heels watching Clinton Portis run for about 175 yards. Last matchup went to Tampa, thanks to a big game from Chris Simms (279 yds, 3 TD) who led a 4th quarter drive for the win. Sadly for the Bucs, this is Simms' first playoff appearance, and he's facing a good Washington defense that will be looking for revenge. I look for Washington to jump out to a 10 or 14 point lead, with Tampa riding rookie Cadillac Williams back into the game in the second and third quarters. In the end, the experience of Mark Brunell versus Chris Simms will lead the 'Skins to victory. Call it 23-16 Washington.

Game 2: Jaguars at Patriots - Everybody is picking the Patriots in this game. That's sad, because with the exception of a fluke 24-21 loss to the Rams, the Jacksonvill has toughed out every victory they should have all season. Past the Rams, they lost two to Indy and one to a Denver team that completely shut down their running attack (high rusher: Fred Taylor with 14 yards). Usually, a 12-4 team that won 4 out of 5 games without their starting QB gets that QB back and is a home favorite over a 10-6 squad that lost some crappy games throughout the year. Of course, usually that 10-6 team isn't the defending champions and one of the hotter teams in football (you can ignore that last-game loss to Miami where Matt Cassell played QB). This particular sports enthusiast believes the Pats have been severely overhyped. With the exception of one very impressive 28-0 drubbing of the Bucs (in the snow, where Tampa's Twinkletoes tend to flop), the Pats haven't beaten a quality opponent since Week 5, when they edged the arguably decent Falcons 31-28. Before that, they sneaked out a 23-20 win at Pittsburgh. The Patriots' other seven wins are against crappy teams: the Jets twice, Buffalo twice, Oakland, New Orleans and Miami. Now, we can't blame them for being in a stinky division, but I'm not as high on the Champs as Bristol seems to be. If only because I am loathe to agree with all eight ESPN "football experts," I take the Jags here. If Leftwich is really healthy, I see him as a big-game QB who'll have a big game against an overrated, injury-depleted Patriots' squad. Call it 27-24 Jacksonville.

Okay folks, there's your betting guide. I'll be back to recount my success and tell you about tomorrow's games later...

It's a bird... It's a plane... Wait, it's actually a plane!

Check out this story...
KCBS traffic plane lands in, well, traffic
... it made me do a radio double-take while listening to yesterday's evening traffic report. Not sure what's more disturbing: that the KCBS traffic report is issued from a plane that's older than me, or that this is the second plane to land on the 680 freeway in the last 10 months. Also, I have a new hero: his name is Rob Castro.

Vinsane in the Membrane

Yes, I did predict a Texas victory - YES, I did that because I knew that Vince Young could not be stopped. But today I'm here to address a couple of ridiculous theories/ideas/suggestions that have been bandied about the airwaves and sports news stations:

1) Vince Young now will (or should) be the #1 pick in the NFL draft based on his performance last night. This is absurd. First of all, what did Vince show us last night that he hasn't shown us before? USC's defense was 40th nationally in yards-per-game against. Texas opponents ranked higher (with Vince's stat line against each): Texas Tech, ranked 26th (12/22 for 239 passing yds, 2 TD/2 INT; 7 rushes for 45 yds and 1 TD; QB Rating - 157.62); Kansas, ranked 19th (19/27, 281, 4/0; no rushing but 206.68 QB rating); Oklahoma, ranked 16th (14/27, 241, 3/0; 17 rushes for 45 yds, 0 TD; 163.50 rating); and Ohio State, ranked 4th (18/29, 270, 2/2; 20 rushes for 76 yds, 0 TD). Also, this was not his first 200-yd rushing game of the year - he rushed for 267 against OK State. He's been the most efficient passer in the NCAA all year. In other words, he did exactly what an educated observer would have expected against a mediocre USC defense. Did he have a spectacular game? Certainly, but he was the best player in football all year. The fact remains, Reggie Bush is the hype pick, and he'll be #1. All this post-coital championship glow will fade by draft time. Plus, Vince still may decide to stay at Texas, where no player has ever left Mack Brown's program early, a very impressive statistic for a top D-I school in today's game.

2) Matt Leinart's (and many media cronies') preposterous assertion that USC was the better team and just didn't make the right plays. Wrong. They failed to make the plays because they weren't the better team. The better team had a #4 scoring defense to go with their #1 scoring offense; the better team trailed only one or two times all year; the better team had a (yes, I'll say it) better quarterback. Better teams make 4th down stops (and 4th down conversions, too) in the last 5 minutes. USC hasn't seen a better team for 3 years, so I'll forgive Leinart the confusion; but sportswriters who blame that loss on anything other than one Vince Young being better than 11 USC defenders should be fired. Did the refs blow a call or two? Maybe. But make no mistake - the better team won.

That's all I've got for today. Oh, and for my money, Vince should go back to school.

Purely for posterity...

I want to mention that I am picking the Texas Longhorns to upset the USC Trojans in an epic Rose Bowl battle. Call it 41-35. Just so we're clear, I plan to erase this entry if the Spoiled Children win.

Color me resolute...

The very idea of New Year's resolutions has always bothered me. At this point, American culture has romanticized the concept to such an extent that our whole stupid country makes and breaks their own set of resolutions on a strict yearly schedule. How have we come to this, America? It's one thing to find Aunt Edna taking tequila shots and chain-smoking in the kitchen some time in mid-July... quite another at 2 AM on January 1^st after she resolved to make this the Year of Healthy, Wholesome Aunthood.

The whole resolution tradition, as it has developed and currently exists in our culture, depends on an irresolute public. What's incredible to me is that we can be so strong-willed and decisive as a country - to our detriment, some might argue - and such utter failures on an individual basis. When the U.S. government makes a commitment to something (e.g. bringing freedom to the infidels insurgents in the Middle East, or bombing the bastard that quabbled with the president's father) they pursue that goal with a single-mindedness that has contributed to our country becoming the foremost international superpower. On the flipside, we as persons require a special occasion to make commitments to our own lives and goals, and then routinely fail to meet (or even really pursue) these trite life betterments. Sure, some people make inventive, important New Year's Resolutions, but the vast majority are stupid and formulaic.

This year, I'm falling into disfavor with myself thanks to an early-year move coupled with promises of more diligent career pursuits and cleaner, healthier living. Nevertheless, I am forced to admit that San Francisco Kolsky is played out - no longer the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed eager beaver who arrived in the Bay Area with designs on making it big in the sports world. A year and a half later there's nothing to show for it besides memories and a portable writing gig, which I'll pack up and tote back to the Windy City.

In truth, it is the Call of the Chi (rather than some ill-advised pledge to improve myself) that ultimately tipped the scales towards relocation; nevertheless, I am dangerously close to a calendar-inspired self-betterment campaign. To avoid the pitfalls of the average American Resolutionary (Resolutioner? Resolutionist?) I hereby make absolutely zero promises or guarantees (and certainly no resolutions) involving any of the following activities (which I may or may not currently participate in): smoking, alcohol consumption, caffeine consumption, food consumption, exercise, narcotics use, spending/borrowing money, learning, or helping others. Indeed, I commit to only one thing: neither my mouth nor my keyboard will write resolutions that my ass can't... (resolutionize? resolutionify?)... keep.

Now on to brass tacks: I ship out circa January 29, and hopefully hit the North Shore (via the southern route, methinks) on or before February 3 - just in time to take a nap before hopping back in the Saabster and high-tailing it to Detroit for the Super Bowl. I still need a copilot for both ventures. What I am offering you is a once-in-a-lifetime experience: a cross-country car-trip with a modern-day Dean Moriarty... a jocular jaunt from San Francisco to Chicago... a turbulent traversal of the Western United States. Seriously, I need a first mate - a Robin to my Batman, a Smee to my Cap'n Hook, a Ben Gordon to my Kirk Hinrich. My road trip references are myriad - if you have interest in being a part of this seminal event in my life, comment here or shoot me an email and we can talk specifics. That's all for now.