Newsworthy
There are two news items I want to address today:
1) VP Cheney takes population control into his own hands... Yes, it's always fun when a government official accidentally shoots somebody, especially when that somebody is an even older, more decrepit-looking man than Dick Cheney. I saw some really great late-night bits regarding the shooting, including Jimmy Kimmel blaming Cheney's inaccuracy for Michelle Kwan's injury and Jon Stewart noting that Dick is the first VP to shoot someone since Aaron Burr, but my favorite lines belonged to big shots Jay Leno ("When the ambulance got there, out of force of habit they put Cheney on the stretcher") and David Letterman ("The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor, and fortunately the buckshot was deflected by wads of laundered cash, so he's fine").
2) Bode Miller sucks at life... And I want to know why the hell we're talking about it. Tell me if you're interested in this story: professional skier (exactly, nobody cares) gets a huge head and talks all kinds of nonsense leading up to the Winter Olympics... "I ski drunk and I'm still the bomb"... "Barry Bonds is a cheater" ... "Blah blablah blah blah I'm a jackass"... Seriously, BRAH, shut up. Even more obnoxious than Bode Miller is NBC's decision to make him the major attraction of the Olympics - US Skiing's Golden Boy. Not only is he distinctly less-than-golden, but forcing me to hear "Bode Miller goes for the gold, TONIGHT!" over and over again after everyone with an internet connection knows he disqualified himself is just bad advertising.
Too much is being made of these Olympics in general. Go ahead and tell me I'm un-American, or that it's a beautiful tradition that brings the world together, but I don't think YOU really give a flying sex act about these "sports" either. I can't be the only one not impressed by people's ability to slide down an icy track in a giant, phenomenally aerodynamic phallus. Plus, the judging is tremendously suspect in far too many of the Winter events, and people are constantly accusing each other of various conspiracies. You like the Winter Olympics? Keep it.
1) VP Cheney takes population control into his own hands... Yes, it's always fun when a government official accidentally shoots somebody, especially when that somebody is an even older, more decrepit-looking man than Dick Cheney. I saw some really great late-night bits regarding the shooting, including Jimmy Kimmel blaming Cheney's inaccuracy for Michelle Kwan's injury and Jon Stewart noting that Dick is the first VP to shoot someone since Aaron Burr, but my favorite lines belonged to big shots Jay Leno ("When the ambulance got there, out of force of habit they put Cheney on the stretcher") and David Letterman ("The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor, and fortunately the buckshot was deflected by wads of laundered cash, so he's fine").
2) Bode Miller sucks at life... And I want to know why the hell we're talking about it. Tell me if you're interested in this story: professional skier (exactly, nobody cares) gets a huge head and talks all kinds of nonsense leading up to the Winter Olympics... "I ski drunk and I'm still the bomb"... "Barry Bonds is a cheater" ... "Blah blablah blah blah I'm a jackass"... Seriously, BRAH, shut up. Even more obnoxious than Bode Miller is NBC's decision to make him the major attraction of the Olympics - US Skiing's Golden Boy. Not only is he distinctly less-than-golden, but forcing me to hear "Bode Miller goes for the gold, TONIGHT!" over and over again after everyone with an internet connection knows he disqualified himself is just bad advertising.
Too much is being made of these Olympics in general. Go ahead and tell me I'm un-American, or that it's a beautiful tradition that brings the world together, but I don't think YOU really give a flying sex act about these "sports" either. I can't be the only one not impressed by people's ability to slide down an icy track in a giant, phenomenally aerodynamic phallus. Plus, the judging is tremendously suspect in far too many of the Winter events, and people are constantly accusing each other of various conspiracies. You like the Winter Olympics? Keep it.
posted by Kolsky at 6:18 PM
4 Comments:
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At last we can agree Kolsky. As noted in my critically acclaimed and highly original blog, the Winter Olympics is an antiquated and unevently series of games that wish they were sports and not nearly as exciting as THE VICE PRESIDENT SHOOTING SOMEONE IN THE FACE.
Check out all the hilarity at
The J-borhood
Bode Miller is an embarrassment to America and a complete jerk-off for being the false face of our country. he (sic) makes us all look like a bunch of little spoiled punks. Bode(or is it Barney?)- go away and never come back.
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