It was the BOMB, dawg...
It was the morning of Sunday, December 4, 2005. I was in my car, lamenting my inability to enjoy my usual God's day festivities. Put another way, I was stone cold sober and NOT watching the Bears' game; but this was a special Sunday, folks (and not just because it was Bears-Packers week). I was making my way across the San Francisco Bay Bridge to Berkeley, where I would share pizza and cake with a cadre of ten-year-olds (led by my just-turned-ten cousin), before chauffeuring them to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (a movie experience I would not be partaking in, having seen it at midnight on opening night). I won't lie to you, K-bors, I was pumped, and I had skipped my usual eggs-and-bacon sports bar breakfast in favor of delectable delights to come. Imagine my dismay when, at around 11:25 AM, all traffic on the lower (or easterly) deck of the bridge froze.
After five minutes of sitting in the same place (literally the same exact place), my dismay turned to curiousity and my fellow drivers began to turn off their engines. At ten minutes, people started walking around. By the time fifteen minutes had passed, I was comiserating with some jerk in a Cubs hat about missing the Bears' game, while leaning over the edge of the Bay Bridge, looking at the view of SF. Other highlights: 18:23 - overly tan guy in truck sitting next to my car opens his doors and starts blasting the Grateful Dead; 19:55 - group of three kids walks a golden retriever east on the bridge; 20:47 - overly tan guy breaks out his bongos and starts jammin' along with The Dead; 22:33 - middle-aged couple begins to dance to bongo guy's rythmic stylings; 24:07 - same three kids walk dog back in the other direction; 28:01 - toddler plays leapfrog with lane markers. It was about minute 30 (though I stopped counting at 28:47) when everybody mysteriously got back into their cars - myself included, though I can't put my finger on why - and resumed a speed of 40-50 MPH within a matter of seconds.
As I sped north towards Berkeley, hoping against hope that the Liliputians hadn't finished all the pizza without me, I wondered what the source of the holdup could have been... Perhaps an accident? Didn't see evidence of one... Some sort of construction issue? But how could that hold up traffic for so DAMN long? It turns out, as I should have known, that I was the victim of the day's second "suspicious suitcase" bridge stoppage. Thank goodness for me and the hundreds of men, women and children moseying about the bridge, it was filled with a relatively low-blast-radius explosive. Plus, I finally know CHP bomb squad procedures: a 7 AM call reporting the suitcase leads to a ten-minute bridge stoppage at 9 AM, followed by a couple hours of regular traffic, and THEN a 30-minute closure from around 11:30 to noon. I know it wasn't a bomb after all, but I sure feel safe knowing that the Bay Area is more than capable of dealing with this kind of problem.
After five minutes of sitting in the same place (literally the same exact place), my dismay turned to curiousity and my fellow drivers began to turn off their engines. At ten minutes, people started walking around. By the time fifteen minutes had passed, I was comiserating with some jerk in a Cubs hat about missing the Bears' game, while leaning over the edge of the Bay Bridge, looking at the view of SF. Other highlights: 18:23 - overly tan guy in truck sitting next to my car opens his doors and starts blasting the Grateful Dead; 19:55 - group of three kids walks a golden retriever east on the bridge; 20:47 - overly tan guy breaks out his bongos and starts jammin' along with The Dead; 22:33 - middle-aged couple begins to dance to bongo guy's rythmic stylings; 24:07 - same three kids walk dog back in the other direction; 28:01 - toddler plays leapfrog with lane markers. It was about minute 30 (though I stopped counting at 28:47) when everybody mysteriously got back into their cars - myself included, though I can't put my finger on why - and resumed a speed of 40-50 MPH within a matter of seconds.
As I sped north towards Berkeley, hoping against hope that the Liliputians hadn't finished all the pizza without me, I wondered what the source of the holdup could have been... Perhaps an accident? Didn't see evidence of one... Some sort of construction issue? But how could that hold up traffic for so DAMN long? It turns out, as I should have known, that I was the victim of the day's second "suspicious suitcase" bridge stoppage. Thank goodness for me and the hundreds of men, women and children moseying about the bridge, it was filled with a relatively low-blast-radius explosive. Plus, I finally know CHP bomb squad procedures: a 7 AM call reporting the suitcase leads to a ten-minute bridge stoppage at 9 AM, followed by a couple hours of regular traffic, and THEN a 30-minute closure from around 11:30 to noon. I know it wasn't a bomb after all, but I sure feel safe knowing that the Bay Area is more than capable of dealing with this kind of problem.
posted by Kolsky at 6:20 PM
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